I want to cry

You know how sometimes you just need to get it out? I'm having one of those times. It started yesterday. Of course a good chunk of this emotion is probably due to getting THE call. Well, the 2nd THE call. It's been such a long journey full of first for FEC and full of first for even CY. I just can't believe it's here, it's time.

I want to cry because I'm so sad for the families sitting with agencies that only work with CY. As they struggle with understanding how the new rules impact them; if their agency is telling them the truth; as they think surely their agency is telling them the truth though because they did their homework and really had faith they were choosig the best agency; as some of them grapple with the fact that they might not be able to adopt in Taiwan anymore; or at least not thru their agency. It's a tough thing to confront. And my heart is sad. Because this even effects us as we were hoping to adopt again, still looking for that 2nd beautiful daughter.

I want to cry over the cost of travel. I'm flipping out over finding a room for a family of 6. =) I smile because MY family will really be at 6 now. We have a quote from one hotel, 16 nights for $4170. That is a 2bedroom suite that includes breakfast. Ugh, it makes me sick. If it included airfare then it would be a steal. But honestly! So where do I find that wonderful place that will hold us all and not break us, nor cost the same as the airfare?

I want to cry because I know the world for Jace and Jovi is about to flip over. Please pray with us that God will intervene for them. To have it go as smoothly as Jani's did would be a miracle. We prayed for God to send our faces and voices to her in her dreams so that when she met us she wouldn't be afraid. And she wasn't. The boys have great photo albums that we sent over that were supposed to have been read to them often, maybe daily. But who knows if that's happened. So please pray that we are a welcome site to them. That they have no fear. But my heart breaks for them regardless. They will leave behind the language and the smells they know.

I want to cry because I know where they are going. Home. To a foreign land full of allergies, but hopefully cleaner air (thinking of you JR!). But most importantly to a family that has waited patiently (we think!), to a brother that can't wait to play with them, to a sister that wants to play kitchen with them and let them sleep in her bed, to a daddy that can't wait to have his very own baby legs to squeeze, and to a mommy whose heart will most likely explode and whose eyes seemed to turn into water faucets if she thinks about it all too long.

So cry with me. Oh, I just remembered Sunday is Mother's Day. Do the gifts get any better than holding a child in your arms? Does it get any sweeter?


Andrea said...

Cry all you want to.

Sarah k said...

I am sorry hon. BUT where are you looking at? I just figured out one of the more expensive ones at 160 a night per room and it was like less than 3k???!!!